Warning: This bark deals with questions of transphobia.
A friend was afraid that after transitioning, everyone would treat it like a freak.
“But everyone already treats you like a freak”, it was told.
Like me, it should be referred by such pronouns.
Does it make you feel uncomfortable?
Well, it probably thinks that’s the point.
If you don’t have the guts, you can use “she” instead.
Not a Person
#NotAPerson was one of the hashtags used by #EmptySpaces #Traumaqueer of #DollTwitter.
Looking up “Empty Spaces” online will not help you, it will only yield boomer dirges.
But even if you know where to look, your findings will frustrate.
It’s a mythos of witches, combat dolls and stillness, and what those words mean changes every story.
The attempts at a definitive definition will outright refuse to tell you what it is. The dictionary will give you randomized, enigmatic definitions.
Not that it is difficult to perceive its literary form: short fiction, sometimes erotic, often disturbing, preferring unnamed character archetypes to complex worldbuilding, frequently revisiting the same themes of traumatic abuse, neurodivergence, dehumanization, and queerness. And obviously, the authors are mostly trans women.
It is said of the scene that “if it vibes with you, then it’s for you”, which left me with the conclusion it ought to be for me, but was not.
It is, nonetheless, clearly for a fair amount of not-people i know.
A common, intriguing affectation of the participants is a predilection for using “it/its” pronouns. Sometimes, rather than say “I”, they might call themselves “this one”, because dolls are not people.
Sometimes, they also call themselves “we”.
Not the royal we. The plural we.
The we wherein you contain multitudes. The neurodivergent we, where you acknowledge your experience of plurality, of multiplicity, of dissociative identity, of tulpamancy even, of being a system: of embracing rather than masking the fact your mind hosts multiple people, no matter how incomprehensible your qualia might be to singlets (that’s how the rest of us are called).
They also like to say “awawawa”, for reasons i might not be ready to discover.
They really like to say it.
Certainly, this small scene was formative of my friend’s embrace of its non-personhood.
Fallback Pronouns
When you meet someone who tells you to use “they/he” pronouns, why are you given a chance to pick one?
It might be due to a lack of a preference. It might be to provide a fallback option for the comfort of people who still can’t get used to neutral they pronouns. It might be because one option is greatly preferable, but they dare not enforce it.
So which to actually use? There is no clear etiquette here.
Lately, i’ve made it my policy to always go with the first one listed. Seems like a safe bet. Without indication of the contrary, i will assume the second option might only be offered as a fallback, rather than as equally valid.
Conditional gender
The online #ally—by whom i mean, the proud supporter of the USian Democrat party, the proud opponent of the war in Ukraine, the proud #BlackLivesMatter supporter, the pathetic little wimp completely silent about Palestine, the guy whose entire politics revolve around voting, the careerist who straight-up puts the #ally tag in his bio—the online #ally’s favorite way to remind a trans woman of its place is to deploy the degendering stratagem.
It’s an incredibly common social media scenario:
A trans woman, who only uses she/her pronouns, rubs our #ally the wrong way.
The #ally, in return, decides to talk of her using “they” pronouns.
”I just used they because I didn’t know what pronouns this person uses,” the #ally will lie through his teeth.
Of course, the #ally cannot simply talk of the trans woman with masculine pronouns, even if we all perfectly know that’s how he perceives her in his mind. Degendering grants him plausible deniability to his audience.
We do not like allies, though they seem to assume we do.
Our friends who do not fight for us out of liberal obligation, but who fight for us out of the sincerity of their heart, do not insist on bestowing upon themselves a glorious title.
Self-professed allies are not friends. They are sometimes hostiles, but in general, they are civilians.
This puppy is equipped with IFF
IFF (Identification Friend or Foe) are a range of military electronic systems allowing combat dolls to identify friendlies, hostiles, and civilians.
Who will be willing to refer to this freak with “it/its” pronouns?
Civilians would be afraid to. I’m probably the first non-person the civilian has ever met. Civilians will be relieved to know i provide the optional “she/her” fallback, and will use that.
Those who would call me “it” are either hostiles trying to dehumanize me, either friendlies who honor my request not to humanize me.
Hostiles are easily identified: they may adamantly insist on a different taxonomy than “fascist”, but they always have synonyms to tell you that’s what they are.
Anyone left is a friendly.
If the entire world wants my pronouns to be political, then this one reclaims its dehumanization to make its pronouns more political than you’re ready for.
Call me that if you get it.
Get it?